I got on the train to Manhattan and first reported to Takako-san and Santi that I had finally found a new place to live. They were both absolutely thrilled. Just a few days ago I was in tears — things have escalated quickly.
After that, I started drafting a message to send to my current share house group chat. I wanted it to be professional, yet still express my gratitude to the two of them, and preserve my own dignity. After all, I still had to live with them for another two weeks.
Here is the message I ended up writing in English:
Notice: I've decided to move out on Monday, June 2nd. For the one night of June 1st, I intend to pay $___, which is slightly more than a daily rate based on the newly proposed monthly rent. I will also pay $70 for utilities, as the bill has never exceeded that amount.
Thank you for letting me live here when I had nowhere else to go. Even temporarily, living with you during a tough time truly saved me emotionally. Logan, thank you for putting up with so much as the person living in the room next to me. I also really enjoyed spending time with the adorable dogs.
The conversation the other day didn’t make sense to me. And since you both seem to be in agreement, the fastest way to resolve things is for me to leave. I have my own non-negotiables too, but I sincerely appreciate everything you've done.
Take care, both of you. I’m sure you’ll soon find someone who fits your mindset better."
Expressionless, I hit “send.” Ben replied almost immediately.
“Rent is due on the 20th. Do you remember when you paid rent when you first moved in?”
“I paid for the first month when I met Logan at the beginning of the month. Then I paid again on the 20th for the next month. So yes, I essentially paid rent twice in the first month.”
“Got it. We’ll calculate what’s needed and let you know.”
“Thanks. I moved in in March of 2024.”
It felt like a very businesslike reply, but I felt a small wave of relief. Logan didn’t respond at all.
Later that evening, I went out for drinks at a bar run by my friend Mariko. Takako-san, Santi, and our mutual friend Shiori also came to join. I shared the news that I had found a new place, and everyone was genuinely happy for me. It had been a while since I’d seen some of them, and as always, we had a great time. After that, I took the subway home. When I opened the door, the kitchen lights were on and Ben was doing something at the counter. Our eyes met across the room.
“Yo.”
“…Hi.”
A brief moment of awkwardness passed between us.
Then Ben spoke:
“So you’ve found a better place.”
“Yeah.”
“Where?”
“Brooklyn.”
I didn’t feel the need to elaborate, so I quickly headed to my room. He didn’t seem hostile, just surprised. I think he honestly didn’t expect me to actually find a new place and plan a move within a week. Truthfully, I didn’t expect it either. I went to bed that night.
The next morning, when I stepped into the common area, Logan was there. He didn’t say anything, so I made coffee for both of us — as I often had when we ran into each other. I didn’t feel the need to be overly friendly, but I also didn’t want to be cold. I decided to act as usual.
But ever since I sent that departure message, something about them had changed. They were noticeably kinder. They started reacting to my Instagram stories, even sending messages. They were suddenly overly chatty, saying things like, “Wow, hot today, huh?” or “Wanna grab some pizza?” — things they had never said before. It all felt painfully forced.
...Sorry. Let me take a deep breath. Since you’ve been so kind to read this long series — and even support it — allow me a moment of honesty.
Hey. Seriously?
Why is it that men — no matter who they are — always seem to believe that the women they’ve mistreated will just stick around forever and endure it?
Why is this attitude universal, across all cultures and languages?
Why do they think women have no power to leave?
I am leaving, you know?
Do you not understand that women also live with agency and intention?
Ahem. Thank you for listening.
But honestly, if the rent hadn’t gone up, if they hadn’t proposed that I need to cover it all, I probably would have chosen to stay. I had my doubts, but I wasn’t uncomfortable. What was painful was seeing the true colors of people I once considered friends. Still, it made sense — it matched the subtle discomfort I’d felt before. It was like confirming what I knew deep down to be ethically right and wrong.
That said, when my visa was stuck and I needed a place to go, they truly saved me. They comforted me countless times when I came home crying. When I sobbed, “What if I become undocumented?” they said, “Don’t worry, we’ll hide you from immigration. Just smoke some weed and relax.” (I didn’t smoke.)
The rent was low, so I could save money. Living with dogs was healing. For all of that, I bear no resentment. They were the right people at the right time, like magic. That’s the only way to describe it.
During hard times, I often listened obsessively to Joe Dispenza, a life coach who frequently talks about alignment. He says that what appears in front of you matches your current level of being. Perhaps this house simply isn’t aligned with who I am anymore. It was necessary — at the time.
More than anything, in the end, I was able to find an amazing new home. The environment has drastically improved, and I’m sure the quality of my input will increase too. There will still be issues and new stress ahead, but so far, I’ve ended up getting everything I’ve truly wanted. Things that once felt unbearable often turn out to have happened at exactly the right time — it’s only in hindsight that it becomes clear.
In 2021, I quit my job, and not long after, a Peruvian restaurant opened near my home. I started working there by chance, and that led me to pursue a career as a sushi chef. If any piece of that chain had shifted even slightly, everything might have turned out differently. If Takako-san hadn’t messaged me a week ago. If Santi hadn’t come over. If I hadn’t had a panic attack and cried in front of her. Each unexpected moment has pushed my life forward — even if I didn’t see it at the time.
But now I know. I have magic.
It’s not easy, but I do have the power to create the reality I want. Maybe it sounds crazy, coming from a woman in her mid-thirties — and I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that. But it’s true. That’s why, no matter what adversity I face in the future, I don’t need to wallow or think of myself as pitiful. I just need to keep aiming to be a good person, without giving up.
Later, Ben spoke to me again.
“Remi. Last month’s utility bill still hasn’t been paid. It was $55. So with this month, please pay me $110 total.”
“Oh, I see. Okay. What should I do about the one-night stay?”
“Ask Logan and decide. I don’t need anything.”
I was surprised. I had been bracing for another vague or unfair request. But this didn’t feel that way. Somehow, it seemed like he didn’t harbor any negative feelings toward me. After living together for a year, I think he came to have some respect for me as a person. He seemed a bit awkward — like he knew, deep down, that he’d been unfair. I hope that’s the case.
I then spoke to Logan directly:
“Logan, Ben said I should talk to you about what to pay for the one-night stay in June. What do you think?”
“Oh… I don’t really care. It’s just one night. You don’t have to pay.”
(Logan didn’t make eye contact as he said this.)“I don’t mind paying $30 if that’s okay.”
“If that’s what you want, that’s fine. Thanks.”
They’re not fundamentally bad people. We had a lot of good times together. Life in New York is expensive. I totally get wanting to reduce the burden. But life is hard for everyone. Most people here aren’t making easy money. For two healthy American men, fluent in English, to ask a young immigrant woman — who earns a living rolling sushi with broken English — to pay the full rent was not a good look. Still, I believe everything unfolded exactly as it needed to. I’m sure that after I’m gone, they’ll have moments of realization too.
On Sunday, May 18th—just two days after I secured my new apartment—the long-awaited portrait event at UNIQLO finally took place.
Ever since I helped with the opening of a new store last year, I had secretly hoped that one day, I’d get the chance to work with UNIQLO in New York.
It was a day I had been looking forward to with all my heart.
Some of my closest friends showed up wearing the T-shirts I had designed, and even customers who happened to be shopping stopped by to join.
As I chatted with people and sketched their portraits, I suddenly noticed a tall man walking in from the entrance.
He looked familiar.
Cradling a large camera, it was none other than Leo—my new roommate.
“Leo!! No way—you actually came!?”I couldn’t help but shout.
“I was watching a movie at MoMA,” he said. “It was nearby, so I thought I’d stop by.”
“I can’t believe it. You really came!”
While I was buzzing with excitement, Leo gave me a wry smile and said,
“Now, don’t mind me. You’ve got a job to focus on, remember?”
Later, I introduced Leo to my friends who had been waiting in line, telling them he was my new roommate.
Watching Leo chatting with them filled me with an overwhelming happiness I couldn’t quite believe.
It was exactly how I felt when Mr. Kamikura from UDI (played by Yutaka Matsushige) suddenly showed up in MIU404.
Like witnessing a crossover between two favorite shows—deeply moving and surreal.
Leo took tons of photos of me while I was drawing, then quietly disappeared.
Later, he shared the pictures online as a web gallery.
Of course, he never asked for any money. It was pure kindness—nothing more.
“Remi, it was such a joy to see you working today.”
At the end of the message, he added a laughing-while-crying emoji and the Union Jack.
I could practically hear his British accent through the words.
I don’t blame them, but both Ben and Logan used to say,
“We support you,” and “Your work is amazing.”
During the year I lived with them, I held two exhibitions and countless events—
But not once did they ever show up.
That, I think, says everything.
Earlier, I wrote that I might have the ability to use “magic.”
But I haven’t always had it.
If I had to name the moment it began, it would undoubtedly be when I started drawing.
When I was a teenager, the biggest motivation for drawing was seeing my classmates smile.
Even though I was that odd kid who didn’t quite fit in anywhere,
When I was drawing, everyone seemed to enjoy it.
I could even make people laugh.
I was always lonely.
I wanted friends who genuinely cared about me.
That’s why I chose to draw.
So, did I ever get what I longed for?
There's no need to even say it now.